Challenging Day

Okay, are you still laughing at that ridiculous song?

Well, the eye mask helped me sleep more hours, which is good. Unfortunately I took it off, and even though I did it slowly, it was so bright and very hard for my eyes to adjust, things were even blurry for a couple of hours at home afterwards. I had a headache too. Very strange to me. I don't know if I will try it again tonight, but I highly doubt it.

I didn't feel very good all morning, did some business things, some job search things, prepared breakfast of eggs, toast and spinach..yum!! Still, I wasn't feeling great when I left home.

I worked only 5 hours today, and the entire time I was bothered with a headache and was very tired. I have been drinking a lot of water, so don't think it is dehydration, but anything is possible. Now that I am thinking about it, which the foods that I ate in the last couple of days, maybe my body just needs more water since those foods were so salty..arg. Off to get more water now :) I cancelled plans to see my mom and go to the gym. Had hoped to take a nap or just go straight to sleep, after I ate my dinner, but couldn't sleep.

This blog is supposed to be everything that is going on with me, truth, what's real. That way, someone who is going through the same thing can maybe not feel so alone, or for you to help me work through what is going on with me. So, here it is...I ate well at breakfast and "lunch", but when I got home, I was famished, and my headache was more intense. I feel like I have been eating since I got home. I don't understand all that is going on with me. I have been eating more than I need to eat for the last 3 days. When I am eating, I know I don't NEED to eat, physically. But I just wasn't feeling satisfied. Now, my headache is now nearly gone, and I will be headed to bed in a few minutes, since I need to be up by 5am for a 5 hour job tomorrow.

I have had trouble getting this blog done each night, even though I have been awake and able to. I think that until today, I have been feeling guilt for not getting the stuff about the cruise up. my friend, Ellen, helped me with this earlier. She said that she could understand why I hadn't done it yet, and I totally agree with her. She said that because I felt so much about the cruise, and that I really want to make sure that I convey everything about the cruise so that all of you can really get how I felt about it and what I got out of it. I also haven't run since the cruise for more than about 3 minutes, and that is worrying me too. I had weighed myself, even though it wasn't my weigh in day, and it showed a huge gain in weight. Yes, it is midweek, but I know what I have been eating and how little I have been working out, and it is stressing me out. Stress is not good for getting to an ideal weight or maintaining an ideal weight. I also know that the overall goal is not to worry so much about the number, but understand why my body is craving things, why I might not be feeling motivated, how to achieve the balance that I really do want in my life.

I think that not having the day to day goal of something like the push ups or crunches. But as I found out from Jillian, she doesn't want people to just focus on crunches...so, I'm not doing a million crunches unless it's part of an overall workout where i'm doing more like circuit type stuff. All of you trainer friends, if this is totally wrong, please let me know, I want the feedback.

so no stats, because I don't know how accurrate it will be.

I hope that this wasn't too much of a downer to all of you. Out of all of these weeks that I have been on this journey, this has been the worst and most challenging one yet. Tomorrow, I will be better.

Learning and growing into a healthier me!
~Cindy Lou