Well, I am still alive, and I am still losing weight, though very slowly because of the events in my life that I will explain a little later.
For now, as of August 15, 2011, I have moved 80 pounds closer to my goal of 100. My weight is 165, the funny thing is that even though I am lighter, I feel and look jigglier. I know that is because I have not been in the gym enough.
Scheuling is hard sometimes, isn't it? We all know that we choose our priorties, and whatever is most important in our life is where we focus our energy. Well, Unfortunately, work as been a big stressor for me,, and thus, my main focus.
I have talked about it before, and not having my finances taken care of, not having enough work and constantly looking to fill the holes in my schedule ends up taking up waaaay to much time.
The next big thing, that honestly I feel has been my biggest focus and what is making me strive to be better at everything is the addition to my family, 23 year old Jaelynn Makenzie. She is the daughter I have never been fortunate enough to have on my own. Jaelynn has been living with me for a couple of months now, and I'm sure like all of you parents, her needs and well being are on my mind constantly...in a good way! It's hard for most people to understand, they think.."she's 23, an adult, you have a roommate." Then there are others who seem to get it and say, "wow, maybe this is the reason that you never got married or had kids, you were saving all of this love for her." Yep, that's how I feel. I see her as my daughter and introduce her that way. I have taken care of chilren for 30+ years and I can honestly say, though it totally surprises me, I have never loved any of them, or even my neices and nephews, the way that I love her as my child. Just like all of you "real parents", I want to help her be happy and healthy, feel loved and safe. I want to help her achieve her goals and dreams that she envisioned for her life as well.
Why am I telling you all of this, so you understand where my mind set has been. My focus has been Jaelynn and money. However, what I have realized is that even if the gym and moving closer to my goal are not my main focus, I can still maintain my healthy eating, try and be active and get gym workouts in when I can and move closer to my goal. Sure, it isn't as fast as I would have liked, but to be honest, nothing worth having really ever is, is it? You have to work at things hard and sometimes for a long time to get what you want and make it part of your lifestyle. There isn't a quick fix, and in order to make a huge change in my life, I know that I have to incorporate it into daily life to make it a habit.
With all of that said, I had to do sit down and really decide how I was going to get the finances to be predictable and how I can afford the financial obligations that I have. So, I have taken jobs with 3(hopefully 4 families--I will know by tomorrow I hope) so that I will basically work 9-6 m-f. I will have a break from 12-1, so I look forward to lunch an a short walk each day!
In doing this one small thing, I now have multiple problems solved. I get the variety of helping different families, I earn the money I need, and with set hours, I will now have time to spend with Jaelynn and we can plan to do things together. Last, I can get back to set times of doing yoga in the morning and going to the gym at night.
When certain things seem just totally overwhelming, coming up with a game plan by writing everything down really helps me. Lots of people like to work it out in their head, but for me, it is hard to see ALL of the possibilies and opportunities that way.
I hope this helps some of you, and I look forward to writing about the third leg of this crazy journey much more in the future!
Learning and growing into a healthier me!
~Cindy Lou
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